we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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