Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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