whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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