I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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