Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
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No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
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Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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