Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
honey bunches of taint.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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