I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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