By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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