THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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