i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
