your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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