We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
