Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
