trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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