Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.