if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up