I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out