It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
