shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
