I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
