You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
