I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize