Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
