i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
