I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
