Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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