I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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