I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
