Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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