I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
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