oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
