his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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