i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
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you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
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I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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