he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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