And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
