I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
