From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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