It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
