glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
