its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
