Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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