Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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