I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
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