When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
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it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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