weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You dont lie about slip and slides
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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