Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
