i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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