office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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