So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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