"it" just moved
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
In other news, I just burned my penis
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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