just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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