HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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