how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
