so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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