You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
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He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
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Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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