There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
